Picking the Right Daddy

You really don’t know when you are dating, engaged or even married that the man you chose will end up becoming a good daddy.  Sure, you can see them with other children; nieces and nephews or friend’s kids.  Sure you know their demeanor, their values, and their attitude and think you will have a pretty good understanding of what type of father they will be.  But the truth is – you don’t really know until you are there.  I remember watching a birth story on television, and this couple just had their baby.  The father was a rather large muscular man.  Looked tough as steel, like he could have broken me in half with one snap.  By no means did he portray a warm, loving man.  In fact, he was quite scary looking. When his son was born, the man melted and cried hysterically like a baby.  His mom and sister who were also in the room were speechless.  Here is this man, who they never even saw cry before, with a river running down his face at the mere sight of his son.  I couldn’t help but cry, and what was amazing was to witness the mother watching her husband’s reaction.   She was in utter disbelief and you can see the sense of worry escape her body as she realized she picked the right daddy.

Carter and I dated 4 years before we were engaged, engaged 2 years before we got married and married 3 years before we got pregnant.  Even after all that time, I still wasn’t really sure what type of daddy Carter was going to be.  The truth is children change you.  They really change you. 

Mason’s birth was the happiest and saddest day of my husband’s life.  The very day his son was born, Carter lost his best friend Chad in a car accident.  That day was a whirlwind of emotions for both him and I.  The day we were released from the hospital was the day of Chad’s funeral.  Carter gave his eulogy that morning, while Mason and I hung tight in the hospital waiting for the funeral to be over so daddy could pick us up.  A few months ago, Carter and I were looking at our hospital pictures reminiscing on Mason’s birth, and Carter looked at our going home pictures and said, “I will always remember that was the same day I buried Chad because in all our pictures I am wearing a suit and tie.”  My heart breaks for him because he will always look back on that day and even though it’s the best day of his life, it was also the worst.

* * *

The moment I knew Carter was going to be a hands-on daddy was when he insisted on changing Mason’s  first diaper.  Although he may not want to admit it now, he did.  I even have a picture to prove it.  Carter has always been very helpful around the house.  The cleaning was usually divided, he did the downstairs and I did the upstairs (until we finally got a maid which is the best $75 I have ever spent).  He does all the outside work and I do the laundry.  Carter does just as many meals and baths for Mason as I do.  We are a very 50-50 household which is fair since we both have full time jobs outside of the house.  Some days he does more and some days I do more.  Some days, I need to just veg out on the couch and he lets me.  Some days he’ll cook dinner, clean up after and give Mason a bath so I can have some me time and vice versa.  For this, I am utterly grateful that I picked such a helpful husband.

Carter will be the first to tell you, the first six months of bonding with your baby is not easy for the man.  I breastfed Mason until he was one, so there wasn’t a whole lot Carter could do, especially those early months.  Sure as Mason got older, Carter would feed him pumped milk from a bottle, and as he became more mobile, Carter was right there with him, making faces and playing with toys.  Each month I could see their bond grow, but I never had a doubt of the love Carter had for Mason.  Just by watching Carter hold and look at Mason, there is no doubt of the incredible, unconditional love Carter has for Mason. 

A few months ago, late at night we heard a story from our good friends about a couple who had been trying to conceive for years and they were finally able to adopt a baby.  After only a couple of months with their new bundle of joy, the baby passed from SIDS.  The moment Carter heard the story, he went into Mason’s room and woke him up so he could snuggle him.  He wouldn’t let him go.   Stories like this, which are horribly common and no stranger to the new sites, would have never affected Carter like this before.  Like I said, the truth is children change you. 

Our life, our legacy is our children.  I keep telling myself how nothing else in this world matters but them.   In 100 years, no one will remember or care where I went to school or where I worked.  No one will remember or care where I lived or what car I drove (good thing because in a few years it will be a minivan).  None of this stuff matters.  My eternity will be with them.  Nothing else in this world is coming with me.  For these reasons, I thank God every day for giving me Carter – the Right Daddy.

Closed for Business.

The dairy farm is officially closed for business. 

One week after Mason turned 11 months, we started introducing cow’s milk.  I first I mixed 3 ounces of breast milk with 2 ounces of whole milk.  To my surprise, Mason LOVED it.  However, his diapers were the worst I had ever seen or smelled.  Luckily, as the days past, his shoo diapers started getting better. 

For the past several weeks, we have been on straight whole milk during the day and I’ve continued to nurse him morning and night.  Maybe two weeks ago right around bed time, I grabbed Mason like I normally did for our night nursing and he was just not interested.  He pulled away, latched on and off and really was just not having it.  Carter went downstairs, made a bottle of whole milk and warmed it up.  He sat Mason down, snuggled him, and Mason dominated the bottle . . . I cried like a little baby.  I was so sad that he no longer wanted it from me.  My baby is turning into a little boy.

Since then, we’ve given him the bottle at night and I just kept my morning feeding.  The past week or so, I’ve really started to notice my supply dwindling down.  This morning it was 6:00AM and I was about to head out the door for work and Mason was still sleeping.  Normally he is up around 5:00AM to nurse.  (Lately, I’ve been trying to push his morning feeding later and later so we can sleep in on the weekends and I can feed him right before I leave during the week.)  With hopes he may continue to snooze, I headed downstairs and made a bottle.  Right as I was about to head up stairs to leave the bottle with Carter before I left, Mason woke up.  In my own selfish way, I wanted to just dump the bottle and nurse; however, I knew I needed to make the break at some point.  I went into his room, grabbed him and fed him his first morning bottle.  I was good, I didn’t cry at all, but now as I write this, I’m tearing up.  I was really hoping to plan our last nursing session to give myself closure knowing that, that time would be the last.  Maybe I’ll make tomorrow morning our last, or try and get my last feeding in tonight before bed.  I have a feeling my body is done too.  It’s sad to think that my baby is gone, and now I have a 1 year old, walking toddler.  I can’t believe this year is gone. 

The Price of Laziness

I've probably pumped over 500 times since Mason was born. I think this constitutes a Pro status. Well today like always, I'm sitting in the pumping room at work, scrolling through Facebook and playing Words with Friends to kill the half hour it takes to get my 5 ounces. As I finish, I look down and notice my left bra cup is drenched in milk. I must have lost good suction at some point and wasted a good half ounce. How the heck did I not notice? Now I'm going to smell like milky for the rest of the day. By the end of the day, I'm sure I'll smell like spoiled milk. Oh the fun! Guess tonight will be a laundry night as I rush to get my Christmas cards out. For those that will say, why didn't you use your handsfree pumping bra? I just didn't want to deal with the hassle of taking off my sweater and normal bra. . . The price of laziness. At least this is better than that one time I was texting back and forth with Ashley Lollis and realized I was overflowing. Wet bra beats wet work pants any day of the week. Hope this gave you a chuckle for your Thursday morning.

The Real Benefits

Students in an advanced biology class were taking their mid-term test. The last question was, ''Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,'' worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of all seven in the textbook . He had written:

1. It's the perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It's always the right temperature.
4. It's inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice verse.
6. It's always available as needed.

Then the student was stuck ; he could not think of the 7th advantage. In desperation, just before the bell rang ending the test, he wrote...

7. It comes in two attractive reusable containers.

He got an A+

November 26th, 2011 - Over-supply to Under-supply

6 months ago, I felt like I had an endless supply of milk.  My over-supply was honestly the hardest thing I had to deal with being a new mom.  And boy did I take it for granted.  If I had known that by going back to work and pumping 3 times a day, that my supply would slowly diminish, I would have pumped and saved a TON more. 

When I first started back at work, just over 3 months ago, I wouldn't leave the office with less than 15 ounces.  Now, I am lucky to leave with 12 ounces.  Plus, now that Mason is older and is eating oatmeal in the morning, I need 16 ounces everyday to keep up with his bottle needs and have the extra ounce for the oatmeal.  I am down to 3 frozen bottles for emergency.  I recently started taking Fenugreek, an herbal supplement known to increase milk supply.  I am hoping it will start really working soon.  I've read it can take up to two weeks to kick in.  I am not opposed to supplementing with formula but I really want to continue nursing, so why add in extra work?  I already have to deal with pumping, washing pump parts, and bottles.  Why add formula, formula dispensers and bottled water to my diaper bag?  I'm thinking it's going to be the all or nothing kind of deal, for my sanity, at least. 

However, I now have a new challenge.  Teeth.  Mason now has two lower teeth.  Since he regularly takes a bottle and a paci, he is used to biting at the nipples as part of relieving his teething discomfort.  But now I face the issue of him not discerning the bottle and paci nipple from my nipple.  He's been biting a lot lately and it really hurts.  I've let out some pretty loud screams from the shock of his bites.  He will then pull off, look up at me and laugh.   Sometimes I give him a stern NO and still he laughs.  It's going to be a slow process to teach a 7 1/2 month old not to bite.  It's going to take a lot of NO's, taking the boob away and waiting and maybe taking it away entirely.  Last night it was so bad that I had to take an all day break today from nursing so I can heal.  I am literally swollen and in a lot of pain.  Again I don't want to give up but exclusively pumping will only diminish my supply further unless I pump every 2 hours and I'm not sure I can mentally and physically do it right now.

Carter and I have talked and we are both okay if we have to switch to formula.  I was really hoping to make it all the way until regular milk was acceptable, but now I'm thinking my plans may have to change.  Any tips from moms out there are greatly appreciated.  Hopefully I will be healed enough in the morning to nurse.  There is nothing worse than having to fix a bottle at 5 AM.  The best benefit to nursing is the ability to bring your baby to bed with you, nurse and you both fall back asleep in the wee hours of the morning.  That is the ultimate snuggle time. 

November 9th, 2011

Do you still get to claim mommy brain when your child is 7 months old?  I must admit, I’ve had a pretty hard time adjusting to day light savings time fall back.  Last night, I went to bed at 8:00 because I was just so exhausted and needed the sleep.  At 2:00, I woke up feeling pretty rested thinking it was 5:00.  So I went down stairs, let Rocky out and went ahead and got Mason’s bottles ready for the day.  Afterwards, I went back to sleep.  Mason later wakes up at 4:40, so I nurse him and put him back in his crib.  Normally, I would jump back in bed and sleep until around 5:30 and then rush to get ready, but since I was very rested, I went ahead and got ready myself.  To my surprise, I got ready pretty quickly and at 5:30, I was pretty much done.  So I go ahead and get dressed and right before I walk out of my closet, I take one last look in the mirror and see that I have no makeup on.  I literally was about to head to work with no makeup.  Then I think, well no wonder why I have all this extra time?!.  So I finish getting ready, head down stairs, clean up a bit and head out the door.  About half way to Nashville, I think I better call Carter to see how Mason was doing, because he had a little cough this morning.  I grab my purse and pull everything out trying to find my phone to no avail.  After I accept the fact that I must have left it at home, I realize that my phone is plugged into the AUX input and I’ve been listening to music from my iPod.  Seriously, has all this sleep made me looney?  I think my body has just adjusted to only 5-6 hours of sleep and doesn’t know what to do with all this misplaced energy.

October 26th, 2011

It’s been almost 3 months since my last post. No coincidence since I’ve been back to work for almost 3 months. The life of a working, nursing, pumping mom, is one that I must say does not leave a whole lot of room for downtime and blog posting. My typical day is the following:

4:45 AM - Mason wakes up – diaper change and nurse

5:00 AM - I put Mason in bed with daddy, they snuggle until daddy has to get up for the day. Mommy gets ready for work

6:15 AM - Leave for work

7:00 AM - Arrive at office. Check emails, Run UCC termination reports, Start matching and non-matching dispositions

7:30 AM - Pump 8 ounces

8:00 AM - Back at desk, continue dispositions, start paid in full processes

11:00 AM - Lunch

11:30 AM - Pump 4 ounces

12:00 PM – Back at desk, work CRM boxes for write-offs and paid in full requests

2:30 PM – Pump 4 ounces

3:00 PM – Back at desk, finish up any outstanding items

4:00 PM – Leave for the day

4:45 PM – Pick up Mason from Grandmamas or school

5:15 PM – Arrive at home. Wash bottles for next day, start dinner while Mason jumps and
plays in his Jumperoo

6:00 PM – Dinner for Mason and us.

6:30 PM – Bath time for Mason

7:00 PM – Get Mason ready for bed, Playtime on the floor

7:30 PM – Nurse

 
8:00 PM – Bed time for Mason, I then get bottles ready for the following day, put clean bottles in pack in the freezer for tomorrow for pumping. Get cereal and food out in containers for the following day.
 
9:30 PM – Bed time for Mommy

Writing it, I must admit is tiring. By the time 9:00 hits, I’m exhausted and ready for bed. The past 3 months have been a whirlwind. Mason is growing by leaps and bounds. He is still a little bit, but he is really growing developmentally. He started rolling over at 3 months, at 4 months he started the army crawl, at 6 months he stared sitting up by himself and now at almost 7 months, he is on all fours and really moving. I joke he is advanced, but I really think it’s related to the fact that he is so tiny. Let’s face it, when there is a baby the same age as Mason that has an extra 5 lbs, that’s a big deal. Rolling over an extra 5 lbs is tough, not to mention sitting up and crawling.

Work life has been very busy. We are finally starting to slow down some now that the mergers are in place, rolls are clearly defined, and the team is settling into all the new job responsibilities. The first month and a half back was very stressful and the workload was almost unbearable. I’m the type of person that has to be done with everything by the end of the business day. It killed me leaving stuff in my inbox for the next day. I finally learned that with the new changes at work, that is just going to be the norm. Once I accepted the workload for what it was, I stopped stressing about it.

I’ve said this all along, but Mason is really an amazing baby. He is very easy to please, eats well, naps well, sleeps through the night (most nights), plays well, entertained easily, and is always smiling. A few weeks ago, Carter and I took a long weekend and went to Asheville, NC to go see the Biltmore and go to their annual Oktoberfest. I was a little nervous about the trip since I wasn’t sure how Mason would do. He didn’t make a peep during both 6-hour car rides. He went with the flow as we carted him all over the Biltmore and at Oktoberfest. He is just a happy and content baby.

Don’t get me wrong, Mason has his “off” days where he naps all day, or hardly any, eats a ton, or not a lot. Some days he is just fussy and not happy. I attribute those days to growth spurts and gas.

Babies like Mason are usually trouble for Mommies and Daddies. I have been told by my pediatrician that when parents have babies like Mason, they usually go for number 2 quickly and get burned because their next baby is not so happy and content and not such an amazing sleeper. I will admit, I have talked about having another, but I think we are going to wait until Mason turns 1.

The next few months I foresee being very busy. Halloween is next week and then Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly follow. Before I know it, Mason will be walking and I will be throwing his first birthday party.