Mason and I have been busy on the go! We've been doing the normal out and about - shopping! Mommy's favorite pasttime, Mason's new favorite thing to do ;0). Recently I hit up Kohl's because I had a $10 coupon and figured I would get Mason an outfit. On the way to the infant section, I passed the women's - a section I've avoided because I won't purchase anything until I've lost my baby weight. This time however, I see a very cute flowy summer dress and thought, oh I'll pick up a 2 (my normal size) and a 4, just to see. Hey, maybe it will give inspiration for loosing the weight. I head to the dressing room and to my surprise, I can zip the 2 up past my waist. The problem - my knockers. Not even close to closing around the bust. So I think, okay this is a good problem to have. I've always wanted big boobs. I try on the 4 and NOPE, not even close. A little annoyed, I head back to the women's section and I pick up a 6, thinking surely this will fit. Boy was I wrong. I couldn't bring myself to try on an 8, so I gave up. We'll see if the boobs settle down in a few weeks after I've lost the weight.
Speaking of the diary farm - nursing is SO much easier! Mason rarely chokes and really has great control when eating. The leaking is minimal and I nurse when we're out and having great success. Such a relief. It only took 6 weeks LOL but that is really the time it takes for your body to adjust and for the baby to get old enough to figure out what the heck is going on. Mason is still spitting up but I've just accepted the fact that some babies just spit up a lot.
This past weekend we went out to Mellow Mushroom with our friends Justin and Kristen Womack. They have 9 month old Mia, who is just so stinking cute! She is absolutely adorable and really a good baby! It's great to hang with other couples that have little ones. You get to share stories and realize that all your fears and worries are also shared by other moms. It makes you feel less alone.
That night was a little rough, Mason didn't really do his normal night time long sleep stretch. Lately he's been sleeping 5-6 hours at night - this night he was pretty much up every 3. I think we were just out of our routine and got home at a wierd hour, plus we fed him a bottle while at the restaurant. During the 4:30AM feeding I had Carter feed Mason another bottle. I was exhausted and needed the extra sleep. Plus, I hadn't been feeling well that week and needed an extra boost. Well, I never got the extra sleep, I continued to toss and turn and when 7AM came to get ready for church, I just wasn't going to make it. I turned to Carter and said I think I am going to stay home, but if you want to go, I'm okay with you taking Mason. There was no reason for Mason not to go. In fact, he's been at church every Sunday since his birth - a tradition I don't want to break. At first, I was a little excited. I would get to stay home and sleep soundly since I would be all alone, and Carter would finally have a chance to be with Mason, just the two guys and show him off at church. As Carter is getting himself ready, he asks if I will at least change him and put his clothes on. Of course I would, so I get up and get him all ready. By the time I finish dressing him, tears are rolling down my face. He was just so cute, and I truly hated the thought of not being at church with my family. I immediately felt like a bad mom. New moms are supposed to be tired and not feel good but still forge forward and get on with life. I cried for a full hour after they left. I kept telling myself, he's with his dad, his grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousin, Mason is perfectly fine and in amazing hands. I was just so mad at myself that I didn't get ready and go with them. Out of guilt, I spent my crying hour doing stuff around the house - an attempt to feel less guilty for staying home. During that time I made it worse by thinking of what it will feel like when I have to go back to work. I was really just throwing myself a pity party. I finally was able to lay down and get maybe an hour of sleep. In hindsight, it was probably good for me. It was Mason's first time without me and he was safe with his dad and his family. Baby steps. Next time maybe Carter and I will drop him off for an hour or two at the grandparents. It's so hard leaving your baby. I've been with him all day everyday for really the past 10 months.
Yesterday, Mason and I made a surprise visit to Caterpillar. I was excited to finally show him off to everyone. At first, it was really weird being back, everyone looked a little different. I felt like I just left yesterday but my manager and my manager's manager made the comment that it feels like I've been gone forever and are ready for me to come back. 10 weeks left and I know it's going to fly by. These past 6 weeks have gone my in a flash. I cannot imagine leaving my son after 6 or 8 weeks. I would have to quit my job! We ended up spending several hours there and I have to admit I was a little sad leaving. July 29th is going to be a rough, bittersweet day!
Yesterday was also my 6 week checkup and I got the "all clear." I am excited to start exercising, it will give me something else to do during the day. Plus we are headed to Destin the last week in June, so I really want to be back to normal. 5 weeks to loose 8 pounds - I think I can do it. I am too young to start wearing a onepiece! I'm just hoping now that the ugly brown pregnancy line will go away by then. It's getting lighter but still there.
My Doc prescribed me the "baby pill" it's the only birth control pill for nursing moms. I am a little nervous though, she said it's a fickle pill. She said I need to take it same time every day. And when she says same time, she means within a 3 hour window. Woah I need to be diligent about taking this pill - I can't imagine doing this all over again in 9 months.
Carter and I have started talking about the next one. I think in a year Carter is going to be ready again but I'm not so sure about myself. It's different when you are the food source and are home with the kids. It's so much work and such an emotional rollercoaster. I know mom's forget about how hard the first two weeks are, otherwise, we would all be only children. To be honest, I am starting to forget how crazy the first two weeks were. I mean don't get me wrong, I know I was half-way to crazy but then I think, I will know what to really expect with the next one. It's one thing to tell people about having a baby, it's another to actually eperience it. You really have to experience it to know! I think I need Mason to be close to being out of diapers by the time the next one comes. I have so much respect for women that have their second child with a small one already at home. You really need a support system and Carter and I are so blessed to have both families in town and to have a very supportive church family. I just started cooking meals this week!
Well, Mason needs to visit the dairy farm and then I am going to mulch the front yard while Mason naps. Hopefully cicadas won't attack me while I'm out there!
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