The Beginning:
Carter and I decided early of 2010 to start our family. Ever since we were married we said we would wait until we've been married for 3 years before trying to start. As it turns out, we felt ready before that mark. We found out we were pregnant late May while in Peoria, IL for my friend Laurie Hasten's wedding. We were ecstatic and couldn't wait to tell family in person so we called everyone that night. We were so overwhelmed, we were only trying for one month and BAM, a positive pregnancy test. It felt so surreal but we were so happy. That next week I miscarried. I have to admit I was pretty devastated and felt like what's wrong with me. I'm healthy, young, in great shape, this should be easy. But I will say that I felt in my heart that God was sending us down a different path and that this was just a bump in the road. If I had not lost that baby, I would have never conceived Mason since we were pregnant with him just a month after the miscarriage. I can't imagine not having my little milk machine. I have faith that God gave us Mason for a reason.
The Pregnancy:
What can I say - I was the poster child for pregnant women. I was never sick, I felt great other than being tired, I slowly gained weight, I never had any problems or uncomfortable symptoms. I did start to really swell in the 9th month and sleeping was uncomfortable but that was the extent of it. I worked up until the day before Mason arrived. It was a great pregnancy and it flew by! Even Carter said it flew by which I felt like for anyone it would drag on for him, but I never really complained much other than asking for the occasional foot and back rub. I was really just taking advantage of my situation and it worked out pretty well.
Mason's Arrival:
On Monday April 4th I went to my 39 week doctor's appointment. Dr. Woodall told me I was 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. She was really optimistic and said she didn't think I would make it to Friday. And boy did I hope she was right. I was having a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions but never enough to send me to the hospital. That week drug on and on! Carter and I were praying for Mason to come before the weekend. Carter had zero vacation days accrued at work and we really were hoping that if Mason came on the weekend, we would have the weekend in the hospital and then he could work from home Monday - Wednesday. Thursday April 7th comes and still no Mason. I decided to call my doctor to ask about being induced. Dr. Woodall had mentioned at my appointment that I was "inducible" now but at the time I had said I just wanted Mason to come on his own. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how important it was for daddy to be home with us as much as possible. The nurse called me back a few hours later and said, OK you're scheduled tomorrow, be here at 6am and don't eat or drink anything after midnight. Woah, here I am at my lunch break at work and I was just told I am going to have my little boy tomorrow. I was ecstatic. Carter was thrilled. We couldn't wait! At the same time I was sad since I knew my dad would be leaving for the Master's in the morning and that my brother Frankie and his fiance Rachel would be leaving for a quick road trip that weekend. But our decision was best for our family and I prayed that night that everything would go smoothly since I am basically making my son come before he is "ready". I was nervous that maybe I was making the wrong decision, but we decided to go through with it knowing God would take care of us.
That night, Carter and I went on our last date as just a married couple. We went to PF Changs since I was hoping I could trick Mason into coming out with spicy food. We really enjoyed each other at dinner and just sat there in awe thinking that this time tomorrow we would finally have our little boy. After we got home, we went through a little nesting period. Carter frantically went around the house cleaning as I finished the hospital bag and got Mason's room in order.
We went to bed early in hopes of catching some zzz's but I knew it would be difficult. At around 2am I heard Carter's phone go off, I told him it was going off but he was asleep and I just figured it was a text or email about the delivery tomorrow, so I ignored it. Then again around 4:30 his phone was going off, it was about time to get up and get ready, so I woke him up. Just a few minutes later he said, I think something happened with Chad. Then I heard him say on the phone, Paul, tell me he's not dead. It went silent and then tears. Chad, Carter's best friend of 15 years had died just a few hours ago in a car accident. For a moment, time stood still. Here we are just an hour before leaving for the hospital to have our son, and Carter's best friend had passed. Immediately I said we can cancel, just let Mason come on his own. Carter thought for a little while and said, No, life has to go on, this is the best for our family. After drying the tears, we got ready and headed to the hospital. What a bittersweet day. It was going to be the happiest and saddest day of Carter's life. Looking back now, my husband is one heck of a strong man. I don't think I could have made it through the day if the roles were reversed. Below is a picture of Chad from our wedding. We miss him SO MUCH!
We arrived at 6am and by 7am I was in the room, in a gown, getting blood drawn and an IV. Next, it was time for the pitocin. At first it wasn't so bad, my contractions were coming but they were bearable. The nurse anesthetist came in and asked if I wanted an epidural. I said yes, but I wanted to wait - I figured as long as I could handle the pain I would forge forward. I didn't really know what my pain tolerance was so I was willing to try it as long as I could. 20 minutes later after the back labor had started I was asking for the nurse to come back in and juice me up. I have a TRUE appreciation for my mother and mother in law and all the women of the world who decide to go natural. You are all wonder women in my eyes, and are much stronger than I.
The rest was a piece of cake! My mom and in laws arrived followed by my sister. I progressed very well. At arrival, I was at 2cm dilated, at 2:20pm I was 5cm, then 20 minutes later I was 6.5cm and 100% effaced, then at 4:00 I was 9.5cm, zero station. The nurses started getting the room ready so I could start pushing. The day was spent updating facebook, playing dice with my mom, mother in law, and husband, taking brief naps, and just anxiously waiting for Mason to arrive. About 20 minutes after the nurse told me I was 9.5 I knew I was fully dilated. I could feel pressure and knew I needed to push. I had a wonderful epidural! I could move my legs, wiggle my toes and feel just enough. I pushed for about 30-45 minutes and Mason was out! For a brief moment we were worried because he came out blue/grey and did not immediately start crying. He was grasping the umbilical cord for dear life. The doctor placed him on my chest for just a moment before they whisked him away to get him fully breathing. We finally heard him cry, from then on, I could not stop crying!! I was so overwhelmed with emotion.
There are no words to describe the love that is felt when you hold your child in your arms and kiss their face. It's almost as though you breath in pure love and your heart stops for just a moment.
The Days Following:
The next two days were spent at the hospital. Both mommy and Mason were exhausted. We had TONS of visitors and enjoyed every minute of it. On our last day, my mom came to stay with me while Carter attended Chad's funeral. For about an hour or so I was alone with Mason before my mom came and all I could do was cry. I felt so blessed to have such an amazing little boy and at the same time I was so hurt that Carter lost his best friend. It hadn't really hit me until that moment when everyone was gone that Chad had actually past. I so wished I could have attended the funeral. Carter was the only person to speak at the funeral. I wasn't there to hear his words, but I received the following message from Foster, one of Chad's closest friends a day later.
"HEY MISSY! Hope your feeling OK!! CONGRATS hes soooo cute!!! I just wanted to tell you how wonderful a job Carter did at Chads funeral. It takes a strong, genuine, just good good man to do what he did and do it so well. I know he will be a wonderful father, but you already know that. You should be extremely proud of your man!!!!!!"
Carter is the strongest man I know. I am so proud to call him my husband and am honored to be the mother of his child. Mason is going to grow up with an amazing roll model.
Time at Home:
I must admit the first two days were really tough. If you ask Carter, he may tell you I was a bit crazy. Between the hormones and getting my milk in, I was really overwhelmed. Not to mention I never really got the chance to mourn Chad's death.
The first night home we had over family and some friends. We never had the chance to unpack and get organized before night time came, so once everyone left, I was really overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is my new favorite word ;) That night I was really anxious. I slept in the chair in Mason's nursery and barely got any sleep. He makes the funniest noises while he sleeps and as a new mom, I had to look at him every time he stirred.
Carter and I decided that he would sleep in his crib from the beginning. We didn't want to start him somewhere else and then later have a hard time getting him in the crib. Now, just a week since his birth, I think it's one of the best choices I've made.
That first night my milk came in. Poor Mason was having a hard time latching on since I was so engorged. I had to use the Medela Shield in order for him to latch on. The one problem with the shield is that it caused such a heavy back flow that he was choking trying to nurse. This frustrated us both. Because he was getting so much milk at once, he was spitting up a lot. This made me very nervous while he slept because every noise he made I felt like he was spitting up.
Day two we had our first doctors appointment with Dr. Chambers. We LOVE him! We learned a lot! That day, using his advice, we purchased the wedge to go under his sheet in the crib that lets Mason sleep at a slight angle. This really helped with the spitting up. Plus when we swaddle him, he naturally rolls to one side so if he does spit up I feel comfort knowing it will go away from him and down.
His bedtime routine now is diaper change, nurse, maybe another diaper change, dressed in a onesie and swaddled tight with a hat. We have this little bug that plays music that his grandmama gave him. We play it, rock him to sleep for maybe 5 minutes, lay him down and rub on his chest a few times and walk away. That's all it takes and he sleeps great. He sleeps through the phone ringing, Rocky barking, me moving around in his room and thunderstorms.
Now I have a really good routine and feel very comfortable. I sleep in my own bed and feel very comfortable with Mason in his crib. Last night was actually the first night I slept and got in a deep sleep. Hopefully it just gets better from here!
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