Picking the Right Daddy

You really don’t know when you are dating, engaged or even married that the man you chose will end up becoming a good daddy.  Sure, you can see them with other children; nieces and nephews or friend’s kids.  Sure you know their demeanor, their values, and their attitude and think you will have a pretty good understanding of what type of father they will be.  But the truth is – you don’t really know until you are there.  I remember watching a birth story on television, and this couple just had their baby.  The father was a rather large muscular man.  Looked tough as steel, like he could have broken me in half with one snap.  By no means did he portray a warm, loving man.  In fact, he was quite scary looking. When his son was born, the man melted and cried hysterically like a baby.  His mom and sister who were also in the room were speechless.  Here is this man, who they never even saw cry before, with a river running down his face at the mere sight of his son.  I couldn’t help but cry, and what was amazing was to witness the mother watching her husband’s reaction.   She was in utter disbelief and you can see the sense of worry escape her body as she realized she picked the right daddy.

Carter and I dated 4 years before we were engaged, engaged 2 years before we got married and married 3 years before we got pregnant.  Even after all that time, I still wasn’t really sure what type of daddy Carter was going to be.  The truth is children change you.  They really change you. 

Mason’s birth was the happiest and saddest day of my husband’s life.  The very day his son was born, Carter lost his best friend Chad in a car accident.  That day was a whirlwind of emotions for both him and I.  The day we were released from the hospital was the day of Chad’s funeral.  Carter gave his eulogy that morning, while Mason and I hung tight in the hospital waiting for the funeral to be over so daddy could pick us up.  A few months ago, Carter and I were looking at our hospital pictures reminiscing on Mason’s birth, and Carter looked at our going home pictures and said, “I will always remember that was the same day I buried Chad because in all our pictures I am wearing a suit and tie.”  My heart breaks for him because he will always look back on that day and even though it’s the best day of his life, it was also the worst.

* * *

The moment I knew Carter was going to be a hands-on daddy was when he insisted on changing Mason’s  first diaper.  Although he may not want to admit it now, he did.  I even have a picture to prove it.  Carter has always been very helpful around the house.  The cleaning was usually divided, he did the downstairs and I did the upstairs (until we finally got a maid which is the best $75 I have ever spent).  He does all the outside work and I do the laundry.  Carter does just as many meals and baths for Mason as I do.  We are a very 50-50 household which is fair since we both have full time jobs outside of the house.  Some days he does more and some days I do more.  Some days, I need to just veg out on the couch and he lets me.  Some days he’ll cook dinner, clean up after and give Mason a bath so I can have some me time and vice versa.  For this, I am utterly grateful that I picked such a helpful husband.

Carter will be the first to tell you, the first six months of bonding with your baby is not easy for the man.  I breastfed Mason until he was one, so there wasn’t a whole lot Carter could do, especially those early months.  Sure as Mason got older, Carter would feed him pumped milk from a bottle, and as he became more mobile, Carter was right there with him, making faces and playing with toys.  Each month I could see their bond grow, but I never had a doubt of the love Carter had for Mason.  Just by watching Carter hold and look at Mason, there is no doubt of the incredible, unconditional love Carter has for Mason. 

A few months ago, late at night we heard a story from our good friends about a couple who had been trying to conceive for years and they were finally able to adopt a baby.  After only a couple of months with their new bundle of joy, the baby passed from SIDS.  The moment Carter heard the story, he went into Mason’s room and woke him up so he could snuggle him.  He wouldn’t let him go.   Stories like this, which are horribly common and no stranger to the new sites, would have never affected Carter like this before.  Like I said, the truth is children change you. 

Our life, our legacy is our children.  I keep telling myself how nothing else in this world matters but them.   In 100 years, no one will remember or care where I went to school or where I worked.  No one will remember or care where I lived or what car I drove (good thing because in a few years it will be a minivan).  None of this stuff matters.  My eternity will be with them.  Nothing else in this world is coming with me.  For these reasons, I thank God every day for giving me Carter – the Right Daddy.

Closed for Business.

The dairy farm is officially closed for business. 

One week after Mason turned 11 months, we started introducing cow’s milk.  I first I mixed 3 ounces of breast milk with 2 ounces of whole milk.  To my surprise, Mason LOVED it.  However, his diapers were the worst I had ever seen or smelled.  Luckily, as the days past, his shoo diapers started getting better. 

For the past several weeks, we have been on straight whole milk during the day and I’ve continued to nurse him morning and night.  Maybe two weeks ago right around bed time, I grabbed Mason like I normally did for our night nursing and he was just not interested.  He pulled away, latched on and off and really was just not having it.  Carter went downstairs, made a bottle of whole milk and warmed it up.  He sat Mason down, snuggled him, and Mason dominated the bottle . . . I cried like a little baby.  I was so sad that he no longer wanted it from me.  My baby is turning into a little boy.

Since then, we’ve given him the bottle at night and I just kept my morning feeding.  The past week or so, I’ve really started to notice my supply dwindling down.  This morning it was 6:00AM and I was about to head out the door for work and Mason was still sleeping.  Normally he is up around 5:00AM to nurse.  (Lately, I’ve been trying to push his morning feeding later and later so we can sleep in on the weekends and I can feed him right before I leave during the week.)  With hopes he may continue to snooze, I headed downstairs and made a bottle.  Right as I was about to head up stairs to leave the bottle with Carter before I left, Mason woke up.  In my own selfish way, I wanted to just dump the bottle and nurse; however, I knew I needed to make the break at some point.  I went into his room, grabbed him and fed him his first morning bottle.  I was good, I didn’t cry at all, but now as I write this, I’m tearing up.  I was really hoping to plan our last nursing session to give myself closure knowing that, that time would be the last.  Maybe I’ll make tomorrow morning our last, or try and get my last feeding in tonight before bed.  I have a feeling my body is done too.  It’s sad to think that my baby is gone, and now I have a 1 year old, walking toddler.  I can’t believe this year is gone. 

The Price of Laziness

I've probably pumped over 500 times since Mason was born. I think this constitutes a Pro status. Well today like always, I'm sitting in the pumping room at work, scrolling through Facebook and playing Words with Friends to kill the half hour it takes to get my 5 ounces. As I finish, I look down and notice my left bra cup is drenched in milk. I must have lost good suction at some point and wasted a good half ounce. How the heck did I not notice? Now I'm going to smell like milky for the rest of the day. By the end of the day, I'm sure I'll smell like spoiled milk. Oh the fun! Guess tonight will be a laundry night as I rush to get my Christmas cards out. For those that will say, why didn't you use your handsfree pumping bra? I just didn't want to deal with the hassle of taking off my sweater and normal bra. . . The price of laziness. At least this is better than that one time I was texting back and forth with Ashley Lollis and realized I was overflowing. Wet bra beats wet work pants any day of the week. Hope this gave you a chuckle for your Thursday morning.

The Real Benefits

Students in an advanced biology class were taking their mid-term test. The last question was, ''Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,'' worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of all seven in the textbook . He had written:

1. It's the perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It's always the right temperature.
4. It's inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice verse.
6. It's always available as needed.

Then the student was stuck ; he could not think of the 7th advantage. In desperation, just before the bell rang ending the test, he wrote...

7. It comes in two attractive reusable containers.

He got an A+

November 26th, 2011 - Over-supply to Under-supply

6 months ago, I felt like I had an endless supply of milk.  My over-supply was honestly the hardest thing I had to deal with being a new mom.  And boy did I take it for granted.  If I had known that by going back to work and pumping 3 times a day, that my supply would slowly diminish, I would have pumped and saved a TON more. 

When I first started back at work, just over 3 months ago, I wouldn't leave the office with less than 15 ounces.  Now, I am lucky to leave with 12 ounces.  Plus, now that Mason is older and is eating oatmeal in the morning, I need 16 ounces everyday to keep up with his bottle needs and have the extra ounce for the oatmeal.  I am down to 3 frozen bottles for emergency.  I recently started taking Fenugreek, an herbal supplement known to increase milk supply.  I am hoping it will start really working soon.  I've read it can take up to two weeks to kick in.  I am not opposed to supplementing with formula but I really want to continue nursing, so why add in extra work?  I already have to deal with pumping, washing pump parts, and bottles.  Why add formula, formula dispensers and bottled water to my diaper bag?  I'm thinking it's going to be the all or nothing kind of deal, for my sanity, at least. 

However, I now have a new challenge.  Teeth.  Mason now has two lower teeth.  Since he regularly takes a bottle and a paci, he is used to biting at the nipples as part of relieving his teething discomfort.  But now I face the issue of him not discerning the bottle and paci nipple from my nipple.  He's been biting a lot lately and it really hurts.  I've let out some pretty loud screams from the shock of his bites.  He will then pull off, look up at me and laugh.   Sometimes I give him a stern NO and still he laughs.  It's going to be a slow process to teach a 7 1/2 month old not to bite.  It's going to take a lot of NO's, taking the boob away and waiting and maybe taking it away entirely.  Last night it was so bad that I had to take an all day break today from nursing so I can heal.  I am literally swollen and in a lot of pain.  Again I don't want to give up but exclusively pumping will only diminish my supply further unless I pump every 2 hours and I'm not sure I can mentally and physically do it right now.

Carter and I have talked and we are both okay if we have to switch to formula.  I was really hoping to make it all the way until regular milk was acceptable, but now I'm thinking my plans may have to change.  Any tips from moms out there are greatly appreciated.  Hopefully I will be healed enough in the morning to nurse.  There is nothing worse than having to fix a bottle at 5 AM.  The best benefit to nursing is the ability to bring your baby to bed with you, nurse and you both fall back asleep in the wee hours of the morning.  That is the ultimate snuggle time. 

November 9th, 2011

Do you still get to claim mommy brain when your child is 7 months old?  I must admit, I’ve had a pretty hard time adjusting to day light savings time fall back.  Last night, I went to bed at 8:00 because I was just so exhausted and needed the sleep.  At 2:00, I woke up feeling pretty rested thinking it was 5:00.  So I went down stairs, let Rocky out and went ahead and got Mason’s bottles ready for the day.  Afterwards, I went back to sleep.  Mason later wakes up at 4:40, so I nurse him and put him back in his crib.  Normally, I would jump back in bed and sleep until around 5:30 and then rush to get ready, but since I was very rested, I went ahead and got ready myself.  To my surprise, I got ready pretty quickly and at 5:30, I was pretty much done.  So I go ahead and get dressed and right before I walk out of my closet, I take one last look in the mirror and see that I have no makeup on.  I literally was about to head to work with no makeup.  Then I think, well no wonder why I have all this extra time?!.  So I finish getting ready, head down stairs, clean up a bit and head out the door.  About half way to Nashville, I think I better call Carter to see how Mason was doing, because he had a little cough this morning.  I grab my purse and pull everything out trying to find my phone to no avail.  After I accept the fact that I must have left it at home, I realize that my phone is plugged into the AUX input and I’ve been listening to music from my iPod.  Seriously, has all this sleep made me looney?  I think my body has just adjusted to only 5-6 hours of sleep and doesn’t know what to do with all this misplaced energy.

October 26th, 2011

It’s been almost 3 months since my last post. No coincidence since I’ve been back to work for almost 3 months. The life of a working, nursing, pumping mom, is one that I must say does not leave a whole lot of room for downtime and blog posting. My typical day is the following:

4:45 AM - Mason wakes up – diaper change and nurse

5:00 AM - I put Mason in bed with daddy, they snuggle until daddy has to get up for the day. Mommy gets ready for work

6:15 AM - Leave for work

7:00 AM - Arrive at office. Check emails, Run UCC termination reports, Start matching and non-matching dispositions

7:30 AM - Pump 8 ounces

8:00 AM - Back at desk, continue dispositions, start paid in full processes

11:00 AM - Lunch

11:30 AM - Pump 4 ounces

12:00 PM – Back at desk, work CRM boxes for write-offs and paid in full requests

2:30 PM – Pump 4 ounces

3:00 PM – Back at desk, finish up any outstanding items

4:00 PM – Leave for the day

4:45 PM – Pick up Mason from Grandmamas or school

5:15 PM – Arrive at home. Wash bottles for next day, start dinner while Mason jumps and
plays in his Jumperoo

6:00 PM – Dinner for Mason and us.

6:30 PM – Bath time for Mason

7:00 PM – Get Mason ready for bed, Playtime on the floor

7:30 PM – Nurse

 
8:00 PM – Bed time for Mason, I then get bottles ready for the following day, put clean bottles in pack in the freezer for tomorrow for pumping. Get cereal and food out in containers for the following day.
 
9:30 PM – Bed time for Mommy

Writing it, I must admit is tiring. By the time 9:00 hits, I’m exhausted and ready for bed. The past 3 months have been a whirlwind. Mason is growing by leaps and bounds. He is still a little bit, but he is really growing developmentally. He started rolling over at 3 months, at 4 months he started the army crawl, at 6 months he stared sitting up by himself and now at almost 7 months, he is on all fours and really moving. I joke he is advanced, but I really think it’s related to the fact that he is so tiny. Let’s face it, when there is a baby the same age as Mason that has an extra 5 lbs, that’s a big deal. Rolling over an extra 5 lbs is tough, not to mention sitting up and crawling.

Work life has been very busy. We are finally starting to slow down some now that the mergers are in place, rolls are clearly defined, and the team is settling into all the new job responsibilities. The first month and a half back was very stressful and the workload was almost unbearable. I’m the type of person that has to be done with everything by the end of the business day. It killed me leaving stuff in my inbox for the next day. I finally learned that with the new changes at work, that is just going to be the norm. Once I accepted the workload for what it was, I stopped stressing about it.

I’ve said this all along, but Mason is really an amazing baby. He is very easy to please, eats well, naps well, sleeps through the night (most nights), plays well, entertained easily, and is always smiling. A few weeks ago, Carter and I took a long weekend and went to Asheville, NC to go see the Biltmore and go to their annual Oktoberfest. I was a little nervous about the trip since I wasn’t sure how Mason would do. He didn’t make a peep during both 6-hour car rides. He went with the flow as we carted him all over the Biltmore and at Oktoberfest. He is just a happy and content baby.

Don’t get me wrong, Mason has his “off” days where he naps all day, or hardly any, eats a ton, or not a lot. Some days he is just fussy and not happy. I attribute those days to growth spurts and gas.

Babies like Mason are usually trouble for Mommies and Daddies. I have been told by my pediatrician that when parents have babies like Mason, they usually go for number 2 quickly and get burned because their next baby is not so happy and content and not such an amazing sleeper. I will admit, I have talked about having another, but I think we are going to wait until Mason turns 1.

The next few months I foresee being very busy. Halloween is next week and then Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly follow. Before I know it, Mason will be walking and I will be throwing his first birthday party.

July 30th, 2011

I had a rough week leading up to Friday, my first day back at the office.  Wednesday night I was crying to the point where I was hyperventilating.  I was just so distraught about going back to work and leaving Mason.  I kept reassuring myself that he's with his grandparents and is in great hands.  Not to mention the fact that by going to work I am actually doing Mason a great service by being able to provide for him in a different way, since we all know mommy brings home the big bucks ;)  He just better get into Harvard to justify all this hard work I'm doing.  LOL.  In all seriousness, it's something that I have struggled with and I really go back and forth on. 

Friday morning went pretty smoothly.  The Mason Man was up at 4:45AM to eat, which was perfect because before Mason was in my life, I usually got up between 5 and 5:30 to get ready and out the door.  We nursed, I laid him back down and then darted to get myself ready.  After my shower, he started stirring in his sleep because he was congested, so I stopped getting ready, cleaned his nose out, changed him and got him ready for the day (tasks that will actually belong to Carter).  I was about to head out the door at 6:20 on the dot (time which I normally leave) when I decided I needed a few extra kisses and some tissues for the road.  I arrived at work (West End) at maybe 5 minutes after 7.  As I pulled out of the driveway, I started to tear up, but calmly told myself to get it together and I did.  The car ride was what it normally is, me silently cursing at the drivers on the road that move so slow as they pass the construction on I65 north in Franklin.  We pass the same wheel loaders everyday moving dirt and for some reason, everyone has to stop and look every morning.  It's quite infuriating, but it kept my mind preoccupied.  As I arrive in the building I see many friendly faces, all telling me welcome back, and how I don't look like I just had a baby.  All things that made me feel good ;)  I then get to my desk which was beautifully decorated by my department for my birthday that just passed over the weekend.  My day was jammed packed with trying to get set up all over again.  Apparently, if you are gone for more than 90 days, IT pretty much blocks you from everything for security purposes.  On top of all that, I had to pump three times.  A new ritual that I feel will make the day fly by!  I will say it was a little strange pumping in a room all by yourself in the middle of the workday, but it gave me a nice break.  I really thought I would breakdown and cry once I got in there but I was distracted by checking the news feed on Facebook ;)   I am blessed to work for a company that supports the working mother and provides a pumping room.  I can totally see why women stop nursing when they go back to work.  It's a ton of work!  First, you really need a good, easy place to pump, something most companies don't provide.  Also you now have to deal with bottles, lugging around the pump, finding time during your schedule to pump, dealing with milk storage, and cleaning everything, every time. Formula at this point is so much easier.  But anyways, Melinda sent a ton of pictures throughout the day and kept me updated so that made things a lot easier.  But I tell you, 4:00PM came and I was OUT.  I rushed to get Mason and he was all smiles when I saw him.  I just kissed him all over and held him.  Finally after chatting with Melinda for a bit, we headed home.  On the way home, I started to break down.  I hadn't cried at all that day until I finally had him with me.  I think I was just all worked up, trying to be strong and so busy that I finally had a good moment to myself and I was finally at ease with my little man in tow, that I just broke down.  He is seriously everything in my life that is good and I can't stand being apart from him. 

Next week is the ultimate test as I go for a full week.  I was happy to start back on a Friday, it gave me one day to get my desk and things together before work actually starts.  I am blessed to work with very supportive people who are there for me and will be a shoulder for me to cry on.   I also have amazing family and friends that were really supportive leading up to Friday and the day of.  I received tons of calls and messages and I appreciate everyone's kind words and prayers.  It's one of those things that you don't realize how hard it will be until you get there.  It's just like not knowing what true love is until you hold your child in your arms.  I'm sure this next week will be hard as reality of being a working mom will set in.  I just keep telling myself it will slowly get better.  Baby steps.

July 27th, 2011

I am a complete and utter basket case.  Tomorrow is my last day as a stay at home mommy.  Just the thought of not being with Mason during the days brings me to tears.  I have a hard time talking about it, even with Carter.  I need your prayers desperately to get me through this very difficult time.  Labor, recovery - nothings compares to the pain I feel now for having to leave my Mason Man during the day.  I know he is going to be in the BEST hands, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'll miss seeing his happy face after his morning nap and hear the "talking" that he does so well after that first nap while he's on the changing table.  It doesn't change the fact that I very well may miss milestones.  His first crawl, walk, word may all happen while I'm at work and I hate thinking that I'm going to miss it.

Lately, I've been pretty selfish.  For a few weeks I was having someone feed him 1 bottle (of pumped milk) daily to make sure he was getting used to eating from a bottle.  But this past week he hasn't gotten a bottle, even once.  I've been getting all the nursing time in that I can because I know that after tomorrow it will be only morning and night when we get to nurse.  For me, the hardest part about going back to work is missing those feedings.  Nursing your child is the BEST feeling in the world.  It's knowing that you alone provide all the nourishment and satisfaction that your child needs.

Every night when Carter gets home from work, he grabs Mason, gives him a big squeeze and then says, "Mason you grew today!  You seriously got bigger"  I can tell by Carter's face and tone that he hates that Mason is growing so much during the day and he's not there to be with him.  I hate that it's going to be me saying the same thing when I pick him up.

Keep us in your prayers.  Pray for my sanity.  And pray for Carter since he will be dealing with a crazy, hormonal wife.  He won't be getting any fabulous dinners either.  I'm not about to spend an hour in the kitchen when I get home.  It's 20 minutes or less, I'm spending all my time with the Mason Man!

July 14th, 2011

Today Mason, Daddy and I went to meet Mason's new best bud Hudson Crue Lollis and boy was he a cutie.  Mason is also lucky to have another best bud that was born just three weeks ago, Hayden Christopher Plunkett.  Today it got me thinking of our future and how in no time at all, myself, Pam and Ashley (the moms) will be chasing these little boys around and likely spending some crazy nights in the ER.  We are very lucky to be blessed with wonderful friends and a great neighborhood of young families.

After visiting the Lollis Clan, I stopped by my office since it's right next door to Baptist Hospital.  While there, a girlfriend of mine went ahead and booked the pumping room for me three times a day.  I felt relieved that I have those times already booked so when I get back on the 29th I'll be ready to go, but at the same time, I am wishing I never had to walk back in the building ever again.  It's so crazy how before I had Mason, and even when I was pregnant, I thought I would be ready to go back to work.  If you know me at all, you know I am very career driven, but when it comes to life after Mason, he comes first, bottom line.  I've ran the numbers and it's just not something we could do.  We recently refinanced our home to a 15 year term and we are trying to pay it off in 10, so needless to say we are forking over some serious cash to pay off the house.  But you know, the more I think about it, the more I'm really okay with going back to work.  I mean my mother in law, Melinda is going to be watching him 3 out of 5 days.  Plus my father in law Kermit is also retired, so he is right there with her.  I could not think of two better people for Mason to be with during the day.  Also I love the academy he is going to the other 2 days and his teacher is highly recommended.  So really I have nothing to worry about.  I'm just feeling guilty that I am not staying at home with him.  I'm just hoping that after I get back to work and get in the swing of things again my feelings will subside.  I did learn today that I along with 2 other people will be responsible for all US accounts for buyouts and dispositions.  A job load that was once shared by 7 people is now down to 3.  Needless to say, I am going to be VERY busy at work, so hopefully my mind will be preoccupied during the day and I will have few crying fits at work.

In other Mason news, he is literally growing like a weed.  He has changed so much in just two weeks.  He fits more comfortably in 6 month clothes and is just outgrowing his 3 month stuff.  He's actually just too long now for the 3 month clothes.  He rolled over for the first time yesterday.  Well, almost rolled over.  He flipped his legs completely over just couldn't roll past the arm.  He has officially found his thumb and loves to suck suck suck.  Now that he is on the rolling rhythm he prefers to be on his side rather than his back.  Last night was the first night we didn't swaddle him.  He woke up at 12:30 and 1:45 and then at 5.  So really it wasn't that bad for his first night.  I think he woke up just so he could suck his hands since he wasn't able to before.  I have excepted the fact that he is a pacee baby.  He loves to suck and I am not going to take that away from him.  It's how he soothes himself.

I am secretly hoping he'll be ready for food at four months because I am selfishly wanting to start making his baby food.  But I likely won't start him until he is closer to the 6 month mark. Breast milk alone as long as possible is best and provides such great nutrients but I know soon he is going to be hungry past the 5-6 ounces he's getting at the boob.

If you're reading this, please keep us in our prayers as I go back to work.  Pray for my sanity and for Melinda and Kermit and Anna his new teacher.  I know we'll all be fine.  It's just going to take some time to adjust.

July 12th, 2011

It seems like the calendar is flipping faster than I am wanting to keep up with.  It's July 12th and I go back to work on the 29th, meaning 17 days left with the Mason man.  Where has the time gone?! 

The past 3 weeks have been jammed packed.  The last week in June we went for our annual Destin vacation.  This year was actually the most relaxing Destin trip to date.  Funny considering I had a two month old in tow.  You would think it would have been the opposite.  This year it was just my parents and my sister Chrissy, her husband Chris and my 5 year old niece Sofia.  We chilled all week, sleeping in late, heading to the beach and pool during the day and relaxing at night with a couple of drinks here and there.  Mason was an amazing baby.  He slept at the beach, took a few dips in the ocean and pool and slept perfectly.  It's funny because the Toungette's were always the last to wake up in the morning.  Who would have thought it?  The most difficult part of traveling with a newborn was having to stop and nurse during the car ride down.  It probably added an extra 1-2 hours to our travel time.  The only other difficult time I had was having to use the cover to nurse him at the beach and pool.  It was pretty hot and Mason was a bit hot under the cover.  We bought a battery powered fan that had a water bottle attached that we filled with ice cold water.  So while I was nursing, daddy would spray and fan us under the cover.  It worked out pretty well.

This past weekend my best friend of over 20 years, Robin came to visit with her husband Jere and their 10 month old daughter Reese.  The last time I saw them was when Reese was only 6 weeks old and now she's a walking, jabber jaws, 10 month old.  It gave me great insight into what the future holds for us!  It was a quick weekend visit but I am so glad they came and I got to see Reese again and they could meet Mason before he gets older.  It was a relaxing weekend.  We hung out at our house and spent Sunday at my parent's house out by the pool.

Mason is growing like a weed.  When he starts doing something new it's as though a light bulb goes off and he's a pro.  He has such a great awareness of his surroundings.  He follows us walk around the room with his eyes and loves to play with his toys.  He loves his ocean and grabbing the toys that hang.  He is this.close to turning over and lifts his head off the ground with great strength.  Sometimes it looks like he is even trying to crawl while he's doing tummy time.  Everyday he's moving and playing better than the day before. 

To prepare myself for going back to work, daddy has been feeding Mason a bottle of pumped milk for his dinner time feeding.  I have to admit it's a little sad to miss these feedings.  Nursing is our special time together and it has created this amazing bond.  I urge any new mother to try their hardest to not give up on breastfeeding.  The first 6 weeks are so very tough and frustrating and it's so easy to want to quit.  But once you pass that 6 week mark it becomes so easy and it's an amazing feeling to be able to provide all the nutrients to your child.  While researching proper breast milk storage instructions in the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International, I came across the following story and couldn't help myself from just laughing and smiling because I now understand and know the feeling.

"When I was pregnant the first time, I made up my mind to breastfeed for six months.  But by the time David was six months old, everything was going so smoothly that it seemed a pity to quit-and I didn't want to have to go out and buy formula.  Maybe I'd keep going for another three months.  At nine months, he was enthusiastically eating solids but still nursing quite often, and again weaning seemed like more trouble than it was worth.  When I found out that I was pregnant again, I thought "Well, I'll have to wean now." My doctor reassured me that it wasn't necessary and I was so tired during early pregnancy that continuing to breastfeed just seemed easier.  After the new baby was born, I was too busy to contemplate weaning and I was glad I still had this easy way to soothe and comfort David.  But when he was about two and a half, he began to lose interest.  His favorite nursing had always been first thing in the morning.  One warm summer day, he woke up and started to nurse, then let go and asked, pointing to my breast, "Can you make juice?" "No" I said.  Clearly disappointed, he climbed down from the bed and led me downstairs to pour him a cold cup of juice.  That was the beginning of the end of our nursing relationship."  Ann, Remembering 1977

Although I'm confident I won't go past the one year mark, I can very much sympathize with Ann.  The morning and the night time feedings are going to be the hardest to wean and I am just glad that we still have a long time before that has to happen.  The truth about nursing is that it's just as hard for the mother to wean as it is for the baby. 

June 21st, 2011

We've had a busy couple of weeks!  Mason had his two month check up and is in perfect health.  He weighs 10lbs, 12oz and is 23 inches long.  His little itty bitty head was in the 10th percentile which was no surprise to mommy and daddy.  He got three shots and boy was he not happy.  He cried pretty hard for a few minutes but then was completely fine.  That night he was pretty fussy but he never ran a fever or had any negative symptoms so we were in good shape.

He is still an amazing sleeper!  Last night I fed him at 8:15pm, he went to bed around 10pm and then slept until 6am.  I nursed him and then put him back down and he slept another 3 hours.  That is typical for him too!  On Sunday, I had to wake him up because I needed to feed him before we left for church.  This is going to make going back to work 10 times easier because I am getting more than enough sleep and not waking up in the middle of the night.  I pray this lasts for a long time.  I know growth spurts and teething will be a difficult time but am hoping he'll snooze right through. 

It's June 21st and I'm starring at the calendar realizing I only have a month and a little more than a week until I have to go back to work.  It's going to be so very hard to leave him.  I am really blessed though because my mother in law is going to watch him 3 days a week and he'll only be in daycare on Monday and Friday.  The first week I go back to work however, my mother in law Melinda will be on vacation, so my mom and sister both offered to watch him for me that week so my first week back he won't be in daycare.  Hopefully that will help me adjust to going back to work.

We've been very good about getting out and letting his Nonnie and Poppie babysit him.  Carter and I had a dinner and a movie date night and then also had two other times where they watched him for us.  Although I think about Mason all the time while I'm out and not with him, I feel comfortable and confident with leaving him.  I know he is in good hands.  The one thing I do freak out a little bit about is his eating.  Breast milk is liquid gold and I have this big fear that he'll be more hungry than the bottle I left or the breast milk will spill somehow and he won't have a bottle.  I always have to call around his feedings to make sure he is eating well and he didn't completely finish the bottle.  It's so hard to tell how much he eats.   You just breastfeed on demand until they stop themselves, so really it's unknown how many ounces he is getting at each feeding.   To be safe I am pumping 5 ounces now.

This coming up Saturday we leave for our annual trip to Destin, Florida.  I am so excited to start Mason in on the tradition.  Carter and I are both in need of a beach vacation.  It was actually kind of funny when we talked to our pediatrician about taking Mason to the beach.  We started the conversation off with letting him know we were headed to the beach and wanted to know his thoughts on a 2 1/2 month old swimming.  We said we figured quick dips in the pool would be okay but not in the ocean.  The doctor said, why not the ocean?  Both are equally as dirty.  He said in just a couple more months your baby is going to be crawling and rolling around in dirt and who knows what else.  The reason they tell you 6 months for babies to swim is not because of the water, it's because of the sun exposure.  Although, you do want to make sure the water is pretty warm (mid to high 80's) because babies do have a hard time with regulating body temperature.  He also said he would rather us put sunscreen on him rather than him getting sun burned.  He also said make sure the water does not get in their mouth, eyes or ears. So, to prepare ourselves for the trip we are getting Mason a full body swimsuit that covers him completely with a hat.  We are then going to use California Baby sunscreen which is a natural, chemical free sunscreen on the areas that can't be covered (likely just his hands and feet).

I get so excited just thinking about the trip.  For the past 8 years, Carter and I have made it to every single Destin trip.  And for the past 8 years, it has just been us.  We would sleep in, go to bed really late, drink a little too much, run to the stores when ever we wanted.  But now we have Mason and it's going to be a completely different experience.  It's so exciting to think that our little family is really growing and now we're even more of a unit.  We're going to be those people lugging a ton of crap down to the beach with an itty bitty baby in a sling.  We are officially a family and I am thankful for all the crap I'll have to haul down.

Today marks 3 years of marriage for Carter and I.  I am so blessed to have him.  He's a wonderful husband and father and most importantly my best friend.  We've been together for over 9 years and I can honestly say I enjoy the time I have with him.  There are many crucial things needed for a great marriage, but friendship is on the top of our list.

June 9th, 2011

Mason turned 2 months old yesterday!  To start off the new month, he slept 8 1/2 hours last night, nursed and has been down for another 4 and still going (I'm about to wake him up).  I've been blessed with an amazingly good sleeper!  When I think back over the past year, blessed is really the only word that comes to mind.  I had an awesome, healthy pregnancy, followed by an easy, smooth delivery and now I'm blessed with an amazing son.  And trust me when I tell you, I thank Jesus everyday for these blessings.

Not long ago, I was getting out of the shower and I looked down at Mason who was sleeping soundly in his bouncer outside of the shower door, and tears started to pour down my face.  I just starred at him in awe.  He's perfect to me.  The love for your child is indescribable.  It's such an intense and emotional feeling that gets stronger with each day.  At that moment I made the most important decision of my life.  It was something I had been praying about and I knew the Lord was answering my prayers and helping me make the decision.  I decided to be baptized again.

On April 8th, 2011, the day Mason was born, a couple of hours before we were to leave for the hospital, Carter received one of the worst phone calls of his life.  His best friend, Chad died in a car accident that morning.  Carter was devastated and broke down.  I think it's the only time I've seen him fall to his knees in prayer.   I remember Carter saying to me, "I'm not sure if Chad was baptized.  I know he was a believer but not sure if he was ever baptized."  His comment really struck a cord with me and brought me to tears.  I reassured Carter that you can not put God in a box and only He can make the decision of who is saved.  Look at the thief on the cross next to Jesus.  He was saved and wasn't baptized. 

It made me think about my own baptism.  I was baptized in the Catholic Church as an infant and confirmed when I was a teenager.  At the time of my confirmation, it would be fair to say I was a large pain in the butt for my parents.  I was rebellious and did not want to go through with the confirmation.  I remember playing devil's advocate in the classes and really annoying the teacher.  Reluctantly, I was confirmed because my parents made me.  Now having Mason, I can completely understand why they made me do it.  They knew it was crucial for my salvation and they wanted to be with me in the Kingdom of Heaven.  However, the CHOICE was not mine and it's something I have thought about over and over.

The past several weeks during service and Sunday school the topic has been about baptism.  I couldn't help but think, maybe the Lord is sending me the message, "You've been praying about it, here's your sign."  I'll be honest to say that I kind of brushed it off for a while thinking it wasn't necessary to be baptized again because the Lord knows my heart and I'll be saved.  But then I would think, what if He is sending me the message and I'm choosing to ignore it? 

Then I read the book, "Heaven is For Real."  Now let me say this, I don't think I have EVER read a book for fun and finished it as an adult.  Sure I read tons of books in high school and college but never just to read for myself.  So for me to choose to read for fun, I joke that it's an act of God.  However, I truly feel all these things that have been happening in my life are God's way of saying, "I'm telling you what to do, why won't you just listen already."  I finished the book in two days (would have in one but reading with a newborn is a little difficult).  If you haven't read it, it's a must read.  It's based on a true story written by the father of three year old, Colton who visited heaven during a major surgery.  After his trip to heaven, Colton tells his parents numerous things about heaven and Jesus that a three year old would not know.  There is a chapter entitled "Two Sisters" where Colton tells his mommy that he has two sisters.  His mother, confused says no you just have one, are you confused with your cousin?  Then Colton proceeds to tell her that he met his other sister in heaven and that she is waiting for him.  His mother had had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with Colton.  She was two months along and they had not known the sex of the baby.  This was something they never shared with Colton.  Colton then told his mother that his sister is waiting for them in heaven and that his parents will need to name her once they get to heaven.  As I'm reading this chapter, I completely lost it and tears poured down my face.  I lost a baby prior to getting pregnant with Mason and I never imagined meeting my unborn child in heaven.  After reading this I just kept thinking, I HAVE to be in heaven with my children. 

After all these signs, and honestly many more, I have decided to be baptized again on Sunday June 19th after the 9am service.  Paul Forshey

May 19th, 2011

Mason and I have been busy on the go!  We've been doing the normal out and about - shopping!  Mommy's favorite pasttime, Mason's new favorite thing to do ;0).  Recently I hit up Kohl's because I had a $10 coupon and figured I would get Mason an outfit.  On the way to the infant section, I passed the women's - a section I've avoided because I won't purchase anything until I've lost my baby weight.  This time however, I see a very cute flowy summer dress and thought, oh I'll pick up a 2 (my normal size) and a 4, just to see.  Hey, maybe it will give inspiration for loosing the weight.  I head to the dressing room and to my surprise, I can zip the 2 up past my waist.  The problem - my knockers.  Not even close to closing around the bust.  So I think, okay this is a good problem to have.  I've always wanted big boobs.  I try on the 4 and NOPE, not even close.  A little annoyed, I head back to the women's section and I pick up a 6, thinking surely this will fit.  Boy was I wrong.  I couldn't bring myself to try on an 8, so I gave up.  We'll see if the boobs settle down in a few weeks after I've lost the weight.

Speaking of the diary farm - nursing is SO much easier!  Mason rarely chokes and really has great control when eating.  The leaking is minimal and I nurse when we're out and having great success.  Such a relief.  It only took 6 weeks LOL but that is really the time it takes for your body to adjust and for the baby to get old enough to figure out what the heck is going on.  Mason is still spitting up but I've just accepted the fact that some babies just spit up a lot.

This past weekend we went out to Mellow Mushroom with our friends Justin and Kristen Womack.  They have 9 month old Mia, who is just so stinking cute!  She is absolutely adorable and really a good baby!  It's great to hang with other couples that have little ones.   You get to share stories and realize that all your fears and worries are also shared by other moms.  It makes you feel less alone. 

That night was a little rough, Mason didn't really do his normal night time long sleep stretch.  Lately he's been sleeping 5-6 hours at night - this night he was pretty much up every 3.  I think we were just out of our routine and got home at a wierd hour, plus we fed him a bottle while at the restaurant.  During the 4:30AM feeding I had Carter feed Mason another bottle.  I was exhausted and needed the extra sleep.  Plus, I hadn't been feeling well that week and needed an extra boost.  Well, I never got the extra sleep, I continued to toss and turn and when 7AM came to get ready for church, I just wasn't going to make it.  I turned to Carter and said I think I am going to stay home, but if you want to go, I'm okay with you taking Mason.  There was no reason for Mason not to go.  In fact, he's been at church every Sunday since his birth - a tradition I don't want to break.  At first, I was a little excited.  I would get to stay home and sleep soundly since I would be all alone, and Carter would finally have a chance to be with Mason, just the two guys and show him off at church.  As Carter is getting himself ready, he asks if I will at least change him and put his clothes on.  Of course I would, so I get up and get him all ready.  By the time I finish dressing him, tears are rolling down my face.  He was just so cute, and I truly hated the thought of not being at church with my family.  I immediately felt like a bad mom.  New moms are supposed to be tired and not feel good but still forge forward and get on with life.  I cried for a full hour after they left.  I kept telling myself, he's with his dad, his grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousin, Mason is perfectly fine and in amazing hands.  I was just so mad at myself that I didn't get ready and go with them.  Out of guilt, I spent my crying hour doing stuff around the house - an attempt to feel less guilty for staying home.  During that time I made it worse by thinking of what it will feel like when I have to go back to work.  I was really just throwing myself a pity party.  I finally was able to lay down and get maybe an hour of sleep.  In hindsight, it was probably good for me.  It was Mason's first time without me and he was safe with his dad and his family. Baby steps.  Next time maybe Carter and I will drop him off for an hour or two at the grandparents.  It's so hard leaving your baby.  I've been with him all day everyday for really the past 10 months. 

Yesterday, Mason and I made a surprise visit to Caterpillar.  I was excited to finally show him off to everyone.  At first, it was really weird being back, everyone looked a little different.  I felt like I just left yesterday but my manager and my manager's manager made the comment that it feels like I've been gone forever and are ready for me to come back.  10 weeks left and I know it's going to fly by.  These past 6 weeks have gone my in a flash.  I cannot imagine leaving my son after 6 or 8 weeks.  I would have to quit my job!  We ended up spending several hours there and I have to admit I was a little sad leaving.  July 29th is going to be a rough, bittersweet day! 

Yesterday was also my 6 week checkup and I got the "all clear."  I am excited to start exercising, it will give me something else to do during the day.  Plus we are headed to Destin the last week in June, so I really want to be back to normal.  5 weeks to loose 8 pounds - I think I can do it.  I am too young to start wearing a onepiece!  I'm just hoping now that the ugly brown pregnancy line will go away by then.  It's getting lighter but still there. 

My Doc prescribed me the "baby pill" it's the only birth control pill for nursing moms.  I am a little nervous though, she said it's a fickle pill.  She said I need to take it same time every day.  And when she says same time, she means within a 3 hour window.  Woah I need to be diligent about taking this pill - I can't imagine doing this all over again in 9 months.

Carter and I have started talking about the next one.  I think in a year Carter is going to be ready again but I'm not so sure about myself.   It's different when you are the food source and are home with the kids.  It's so much work and such an emotional rollercoaster.  I know mom's forget about how hard the first two weeks are, otherwise, we would all be only children.  To be honest, I am starting to forget how crazy the first two weeks were.  I mean don't get me wrong, I know I was half-way to crazy but then I think, I will know what to really expect with the next one.  It's one thing to tell people about having a baby, it's another to actually eperience it.  You really have to experience it to know!  I think I need Mason to be close to being out of diapers by the time the next one comes.  I have so much respect for women that have their second child with a small one already at home.  You really need a support system and Carter and I are so blessed to have both families in town and to have a very supportive church family.  I just started cooking meals this week!

Well, Mason needs to visit the dairy farm and then I am going to mulch the front yard while Mason naps.  Hopefully cicadas won't attack me while I'm out there!

May 9th, 2011

It's been a little while since my last post and since my mom is home sick today, I need to update my blog so she can be entertained for a moment.

Mason and I have been busy as usual.  We've been out and about shopping, going for walks, and visiting family.  Yesterday he was one month old.  I can't believe how fast the time has gone and I know that the next three months are just going to fly by.  I have to admit, it's pretty awesome being a housewife.  On Friday I went to the nail salon to get pedicures with my girlfriends, Tabitha, Pam, Kayla, and Tatiana.  I mean how awesome is it to get a pedicure at 11 AM on a Friday afternoon?  Who does that?  Housewives do, that's who.  Ugh, I am going to hate going back to work.  Let's be clear though, I will miss the pedicures but above everything else, I am going to miss my little Mason.  It's hard to imagine women having to go back after 6 weeks.  I couldn't do it.  I think I would have to quit my job.

Mason is growing like a weed.  Every day Carter comes home from work and says, he looks so much bigger, he really does!  He still eats like a champ.  Last night he went 5 hours in between feedings!  Hopefully he starts spreading them out permanetly.  The previous two nights he went 4 hours.  But then after those big stretches, he reverts back to 3 hours.  Hey, it's better than nothing.

My little milk machine has turned into a real pacee baby.  If he's awake and he's not in the car, stroller or moving around, he has to have his pacee.  I'm a little nervous that he can't be awake with out it, but I feel better when I hear stories of other mom's who have kids that have to fall asleep with one and wake up everytime the baby spits it out.  Luckily, Mason doesn't have to have it to go down to sleep.  He just really likes to suck.  I am hoping that the older he gets and is able to actually play, he will be distracted and not want to pacee any more.

I am really ready for the next two week to fly by because at that point I will be cleared for exercise.  I've been walking but I really need to kick it into high gear since we will be going to Destin the last week in June.  Luckily, breastfeeding is the best diet ever and I only have a little over 10 pounds to go.  Although 10 pounds isn't a ton, I don't fit into ANY of my clothes.  I am way too small for maternity and my jeans don't quite fit (I have to use a hair band to close the button).  I'm just a little chubby in the belly and thighs and I know I will loose it quick if I can start to really exercise.  I am not about to go out and buy any clothes since I know I won't stay this size and I'm over wearing the same three shirts and three dresses over and over.

Well daddy is home and we need to have dinner and get some stuff done around the house.  Be back soon!

May 4th, 2011

Boy oh boy have Mason and I been out and about!  Where do we start?  Well on Sunday we went to church and then I was able to successfully nurse him in the church nursery after Sunday school before going to lunch with the Toungette family.  All of a sudden breastfeeding got a whole lot easier.  It was right as I hit the 3rd week my supply starting getting more under control and I was not leaking so much.  I'm able to nurse without bath towels and I am just using Tatiana's trick of letting the breast pad catch everything.  Those little pads are SUPER absorbent!  Unfortunately it's about $8 for a box of 60 and I use one every time I nurse, so I plow through a box pretty quickly, but hey it's a hell of a lot cheaper than formula!  Still though when Mason first latches on, he is still getting a little too much but once there is a little let down, he is able to stay latched on for a 5-10 minute stretch.  Anyways, after we nursed we all went to Shane's Rib Shack, daddy's favorite place and then hit up Target before heading back to church for my shower. 

Monday was awesome - my mom had the day off for her birthday so she decided to come and spend the day with Mason and I.  Her birthday was actually yesterday, but it made more sense to take Monday off.  We hit up a bunch of stores in the Spring Hill area, Ross, Kohls and Target.  We didn't have much luck with buying anything, but it's always fun to just be out and about shopping with my mom.  Afterwards we hit up Sweet CeCe's for a "nice" treat.  Yumm I love that place.  For some reason, every time my mom and I go out shopping we always have some issue where it's like dumb and dumber.  Well, it's actually just me being dumb, my mom usually brings me back to sanity.  The first time we ventured out with Mason when he was two weeks old, we went to Kohls and could not freaking figure out how to fit the car seat in the stroller.  I knew it had to snap in and I was sure it was rear facing and I just didn't understand why it wasn't snapping into place.  My mom suggests that the back needs to be pulled down, but I was convinced that wasn't it.  Here we are in the parking lot trying to put the seat in the stroller looking like idiots for 10 minutes.  Finally I realize my mom was right and I figured out how to move the back down.  Duh.  Then as we are rolling around in Kohl's, I'm like what the heck, this thing is not easy to maneuver around corners.  Then I realize the lock is on the front wheels.  Duh again!  Well this time, we are getting back in the car after leaving Kohls and I can't find my keys!  My mom said my face turned white as I empty my diaper bag and realize the keys are not in there.  Immediately I start thinking ugh, I will have to call Carter, but likely he won't be able to leave work so I'll have to call a lock smith which will surely be $60.  Ugh I was so annoyed.  Then I flip up the little storage container in the front of the stroller and sure enough there they are.  Then of course I get the lecture from my mom that I need a routine and that as soon as I get out of the car I put my keys in the same place in my diaper bag so I don't ever forget where they are and loose them.  She's right, I need to be more organized.  Heaven forbid I lock Mason in the car or us out of the car on a really hot day.  Oh and that day I was able to successfully nurse in the car in the parking lot!  2 for 2!

Since yesterday was my mom's actual birthday, Mason and I went to visit her at work so she could flaunt her grandson to all her friends.  We just hung out and on occasion she would let someone hold him.  Oh and I was able to nurse in her office - 3 for 3!  Being able to nurse while out is such a relief since I don't have to worry about rushing home.  Such a breath of fresh air!  Shortly after getting home, I went next door to visit with Tabitha.  She has been overloaded with school work and finals and we haven't seen each other much, so we stopped over for a quick visit.  All of a sudden Carter comes over, opens the door and says we have got to go!  He realized that tonight was his mom's retirement celebration and we were late!  Now I am thinking crap, it's 5:30 now, and Mason has to eat at 6.  He will need to eat while we are in the middle of the ceremony.  We rushed home grabbed the diaper bag and flew out the door.  Luckily my mom and sister bought me the Medela hand pump for my church shower.  I grabbed that and decided I would be redneck and pump in the car on the way up there.  Once we got there it wasn't long before Mason was ready to eat.  I had pumped 3 ounces and was pretty sure that would be enough.  Well he dominated the bottle and was still hungry.  I then go to get a pacee to satisfy him just until it's over and I realize I don't have one.  We ran out of the door in such a hurry.  I can't believe I forgot it!  This kid likes to suck and was not going to be happy if he was still a little hungry plus not having a pacee.  I put him over my shoulder to rub his back and sooth him and sure enough he spits up and it goes right down my shirt in my bra.  Nice.  I pass him to Carter as I attempt to clean up a bit.  Mason starts getting fussy and then Carter attempts to give him the nipple from the bottle to settle him down which totally doesn't work.  He starts crying and I take him out of the auditorium.  Luckily Melinda was just done being recognized.  I head to the bathroom to change his diaper and of course there is no fold down changing table.  Why would there be, the ceremony was at Freedom Middle School.  Ugh, so I change him on the counter hoping this will make him a little more happy.  But nope, I was wrong.  I take him in the hallway and walk him around but he was not happy.  At this point I am about to head back to the car to nurse him when Mrs. Stinson comes up to me.  She is Melinda's good friend and co-worker.  She tells me I can use one of the classrooms to nurse.  So I go in this room off the hallway, shut the door (so I think), sit at the desk with my back to the door and begin to nurse.  Within a few minutes, a little two year old comes barging in the room and comes behind the desk and just looks at me.  Then his dad comes following saying oh, I am so sorry, Max come on let's go.  I am so embarrassed as I cover my boob with my hand.  The guy picks up his kid and leaves the room and then doesn't shut the door!  I'm thinking really?  Thanks buddy.  Fail - 3 for 4!  So now I have to stop nursing, cover up to go and shut the door.  This time I made sure it was shut all the way.  I go to call Carter to tell him I think we should head home and of course, as I call him, his phone starts to vibrate in the diaper bag.  I'm thinking really?  What a night.  Right as we finish nursing, I hear the ceremony is ending and I head out of the room to be met by Carter and Mrs. Stinson.  Luckily she found Carter and told him where I was.  I hand Carter Mason and say I think we should go and sure enough as I look in the car seat, a pacee is sitting right there.  Wow, really?  What great luck I've had.  So now that he is fed and has a pacee to settle him back down, we decided to stay for the reception right after which was great because I was hungry and they had fried chicken and fruit tea.  What a night!

In the car on the way home I get a call from my neighbor Kayla.  She says did you hear what happened?  I say no and my heart drops knowing something bad was about to come out of her mouth.  She said a couple of ambulances were in the neighborhood at Tatiana and Joe's house.  Apparently Chloe, their 9 month old fell off the changing table and she could only move one side of her face and wasn't moving her neck.  They rushed her to Vanderbilt.  Carter and I prayed hoping everything would be okay.  Today we heard the amazing news that Chloe is fine and is going back for a check up but the doctor's cleared her last night.  

Let me say, Tatiana is an amazing mother and accidents happen to EVERYONE!  This past year, my nephew and 3 year old neighbor fell down a flight of stairs.  Just about every child I know at some point or another have been rushed to the hospital for something.  It's so scary because at some point it's bound to be Mason, Carter and I.  And seeing how Mason is Carter's son, we are almost guaranteed to be at the hospital regularly.  Melinda jokes that they were late to just about every big family event because they would have to stop at the hospital for something.  I think Carter has broken just about every bone twice.  It's important to remember that although children seem fragile, they are resilient and heal very quickly.  Luckily, Chloe was released and doing well, but please keep the Hajek family in your prayers.  

April 30th, 2011

The past couple of days have been awesome.  On Friday, my neighbor Tatiana came by to visit Mason and I.  She was so sweet and brought Starbucks and a breakfast sandwich.  Tatiana has two kids, Noah, 3 and Chloe, 9 months.  Noah was at pre-school but Chloe was in tow.  Chloe is just the calmest and coolest baby!  She's really relaxed and just happy.  She's content in almost any situation and just a doll.  They came to visit at 11 and left around 4. . .but the time flew by!  We just chatted and hung out and it made my day!  Tatiana is the type of person that although I just met, I feel like we've been friends forever.   It was awesome having her over because all my worries were gone and Mason and I were just going with the flow.  She also gave me two great tips!  1. Use the nursing pad to catch the leaking while nursing.  Just fold it over, kind of slightly tucked into the bra and it catches everything and there is no need for towels and your clothes don't get all wet!  2. At night, don't turn the overhead light on in Mason's room, turn the light on in the bathroom and crack the door just enough so I can see but the room is still dark.  This will help Mason realize it's still night time.  Two tips that are amazing and seem like common sense but really weren't and have made a big difference!

I've really found over the past week that I either need to get out of the house or have visitors.  It helps me not worry so much about Mason's schedule.  Next week, my best bud Tab is on break from school, so I pumped about having her around. . . unbeknownst to our husbands we are hitting up the nail salons and going shopping!

Later that night we went to Tito's for dinner with all our good friends - John, Tabitha, Pam, Brian, Kayla, Tatiana, Joe, Cody and Delana.  I was excited for this dinner because it was going to be the first time for me to have an adult drink in almost a year.  Of course I only drink half of a Margarita but it was good!  I was planning on giving Mason a bottle, but I fed him immediately before going out to dinner and by the time I nursed him again, it was completely out of my system.

This morning I let Carter feed Mason a bottle so I could get some extra sleep.  Mason was up every two hours to nurse - I think he is going through a growth spurt so I was pretty exhausted to say the least.  Carter then ran off to Home Depot to buy some bushes for the front.  He's been dying to start the landscaping and was determined to start today.  While he was gone, Mason and I woke up from our nap and headed next door to John and Tab's so I could have John make me a cup of the world best coffee.  You see, John is a connoisseur of many things, coffee being one.  By some bizarre chance, John has been grandfathered into this elite coffee club in downtown Nashville.  I can't really remember how he met this man, but I think he is the father of this guy who owns this coffee shop that is a member only secluded place where celebrities and people with tons of money go for coffee.  Apparently they own the machine where the best coffee in the world was brewed from (or something like that - I know I am getting details wrong, but you get the idea.)  Anyways, John, the smooth man that he is, goes there weekly and has coffee and gets all this coffee stuff from this guy.  This week he got some special white chocolate syrup.  So John being the great neighbor and friend that he is, brewed me an amazing cup of coffee to start my day off right.   It was DELICIOUS! 

Later on, we headed to the Main Street Festival in Downtown Franklin.  It's something we do every year, and I was excited this year to be pushing my son around in a stroller.  We didn't stay very long because it was too hot.  We ended up getting Mason naked (down to a diaper) while we strolled him around.  We stopped in the shade several times out of the crowd to get some fresh air and feel the breeze.  We met up with Carter's family (his parents Kermit and Melinda, Aunt Janet and Uncle Lynnwood and brother Dawson and his wife Liza and their son Pierce.)  After spending some time with them we headed home.  We then had my parents over for dinner and let them goo goo gaa gaa over Mason.  We attempted to do one of those baby hand print molds where you stick your kid's hand in plaster - but it was total crap and didn't work.  What a bummer.  Then my mom and I decided to give Mason a bath since he was over due and we have church tomorrow and my church baby shower.  My mom taught me an amazing trick for bath time - give the pacifier during the bath!  It seems so simple, and I have no idea why I didn't do it during his first two baths but what a difference!  It was like he enjoyed the bath this time!  He was so chill!  Duh!  It so funny how simple things you just don't think of.  It really helps having people around that have kids and can offer advice.

Alright well it's 10pm and Mason has been asleep for almost an hour so I'm going to bed.  Let's hope all the nursing he did last night has him enough milk drunk tonight to let him sleep for longer stretches tonight.  Mommy needs good sleep if we're going to make it to church at 9am tomorrow!

April 28th, 2011

Last night we had a pretty fussy baby.  I was thinking it was just gas at first, but then Mason kept spitting out the pacifier so I fed him twice in less than 2 hours.  After the second feeding, he fell asleep and I put him to bed around 8:30.  He then slept for 5 hours!!  Carter and I both woke up and were shocked!  For a second I was worried thinking he wasn't breathing, but then he started to stir and woke up to eat.  He was up then again around 3:30 and then his last time at 6:30.  Normally I would put him back down and sleep until around 9:30 but he was pretty awake and I decided I would go ahead and get ready for the day.  We planned on meeting daddy for lunch, so it was a good idea to go ahead and get a jump start on the day.

After getting ready and having breakfast, I nursed him from 9:30 to 10 and then we headed out.  I figured since I had extra time on my hands that we would go and surprise Nannie at her office before lunch with daddy.  Mason and I walked in and my mom was so shocked!  I think she even teared up.  She was so happy to show off her grandson.  After spending some time there, we headed to daddy's work so he could show off his little guy.  Mason got to meet everyone at daddy's office and then we walked to Chile Burrito for lunch.  It was so nice to be outside having lunch with my family.  It will definitly become a weekly outing (maybe even several times a week).   Afterwards we headed home, nursed and then visited with John and Tabitha.

I have to say getting out of the house is CRUCIAL for my sanity.  When I am home all day long, I obsess about when he needs to be fed, doing housework around his schedule and I think I just worry more in general because there is nothing else to focus on.  If I'm out and about, all I think about is what time he needs to eat, and just make sure I'm home for that.  It's like the rest falls in place. 

Nursing today was much easier.  I tried reclining all the way back in my glider (practically laying down) and it made such a difference.  Normally I am just reclined with the footrest up, but this time I pushed all the way back.  Mason was pretty much laying on top of me, but he was able to nurse without having such a huge gush of milk.  It's all about working with gravity!  I have started to notice that I am only leaking now in the beginning of the feeding when I am really full, so hand expressing before feedings should really help.  I think I just need to express more than what I'm currently doing.

I promise soon my blogs will be more than just nursing, but heck, my kid is 3 weeks old tomorrow, and pretty much all he does is sleep and nurse, and there's nothing really to talk about in regards to his sleep.  Soon he'll be awake more and actually playing and I'll have something more interesting to blog about other than my boobs.  I'm not to worried about it though, I'm sure men aren't reading my blog and it's mostly other moms that likely appreciate reading about my craziness and struggles with nursing.  Talking about it makes us all feel a little more sane, something I know from my sister Chrissy and best friend Robin.  It's theraputic.

April 27th, 2011

I have to be honest, yesterday, I was half way to crazy.  The night before last, I did not get much sleep.  It wasn't that Mason was up a lot, in fact, no more than normal, I just didn't get good rest.  Lack of sleep is a recipe for an emotional and crazy mommy.  That morning I felt like a bad mom for the first time.  I put Mason back in his crib when he wasn't really that tired just so I could get some sleep.  Looking back now it really wasn't a big deal.  He fell asleep right away and never cried.  Honestly, with as much as a newborn sleeps, I shouldn't have felt bad but I still felt guilty for wanting to sleep more. 

That day nursing was difficult.  I was leaking all over the place and getting frustrated with my oversupply.  I cried while I nursed him, wishing things would be easier.  I kept thinking what a waste of time the breastfeeding class I took was.  The instructor briefly touched on oversupply and engorgement which effects most women.  Later that day I caught a small portion of the show Bringing Home Baby.  That episode a mom was dealing with not having enough milk.  She would pump for a half hour and barely got a half an ounce.  Immediately I felt irrational and stupid.  Here I am with a very healthy son who eats like a champ and although he gags and spits up due to my oversupply, at least I am able to nurse him and spend that time bonding with him.

Last night Carter fed Mason a bottle of pumped milk at 11pm so I could sleep from 8-2 without interruption.   Although I had to get up and pump again because I missed that feeding, those 6 hours were much needed!  I literally feel like a completely new person and feel a little ridiculous for how emotional I was yesterday.  But in all honesty, breastfeeding is very hard and no matter how hard people tell you it is, it doesn't sink in until you are doing it.  

The truth is, nursing is getting easier.  He's able to latch on and stay on for a longer period of time.  Something he wasn't really able to do before since he was getting so much milk.  I do have to hand express when I am really full before feedings so I don't overwhelm him, but it's totally manageable.   

There are going to be good days and bad days, good nights and bad nights.  It's just trying to manage the ups and downs and not go crazy.  Hopefully all this rain will go away because walks during the day are much needed for myself, Mason and Rocky. 

Mason is napping so I am going to take advantage and nap too before daddy gets home.  It's so IMPORTANT to sleep when they sleep!  In order to do my job well as a mommy I need to take care of myself.

April 25th, 2011

This past weekend was packed full of things to do!  Thankfully, daddy had off on Good Friday so we were able to spend the day together.  We started the day off with a surprise trip to my mom's house before Mason's doctor appointment.  She was thrilled we came by for a quick visit!  She got to hold Mason while I helped in the kitchen as she had her assembly line going of Italian Easter Bread. 

Next, we headed to Mason's 2 week check-up.  Apparently the Dairy Farm has been doing one heck of a job and Mason weighs in at 7 lbs, 5 ounces!  Dr. Chambers came in and said jokingly, please tell me that dad is slipping Mason supplement during the night.  We both laughed and said nope, Mason is a BIG eater and the Dairy Farm has been in oversupply since day 1 with no signs of slowing.  The doctor was really impressed because at most 2 week check-ups, babies have only gained their birth weight back (most babies loose weight when they go home, instead Mason has been a quick gainer).  All this brought really good news as the doctor informed us not to wake him up during the night to nurse, let him sleep at night as long as he wants.  Of course, he still needs to eat every three hours during the day, but this means more sleep at night for mommy!  Everything else looked great and we'll see Dr. Chambers again at 2 months! 

After leaving the doctors we had to run a few errands and then head to Jo-Anna Bucci's home to get some more newborn shots that she missed.  But before leaving the doctors we decided to give Mason his first bottle of pumped breast milk.  Daddy sat in the back seat and got to feed his son for the first time.  Every once in awhile I would chime in with a "I burp him this way" or "hold his head like this..."  I could tell Carter was a little annoyed with my micromanaging since this time was his and Mason's first feeding and he would figure it out on his own.  I piped down, and Mason ate with great success!  There is NO nipple confusion with this kid.  He'll take any pacifier, nipple (mine or bottle) and never complains.

After running our errands, we headed to Jo-Anna's house and were able to get some more great shots!  My favorite is the one below of Mason smiling. 

On Saturday we continued our tradition and had lunch with John, Tab and Addison at Blue Coast Burrito.  I bumped into my old boss Jim Vanderpool and was so excited to show off my Mason.  I got to see his kids for the first time in a few years, and WOW have they grown!  It's amazing how fast kids grow!  I know Mason will be holding his head up and crawling in the blink of an eye.  I need to keep reminding myself to enjoy this stage now while it's still here.

Afterwards we hit up a nursery because we are in much need of gutting the flower beds up front.  Our house looks like complete white trash with just about every bush dead.  Carter is dying to get going on the yard and is mapping out a master plan on what he wants to do.  I'm just rolling with it and letting him do what ever he wants.  

Easter Sunday was spent with both families as it usually is.  First we went to church and within the first 5 minutes of arrival Mason had peed through his diaper onto daddy.  Daddy learned real quick that the penis ALWAYS needs to be pushed down!  I must say I was pretty bummed, Mason looked so cute in his Easter outfit (Thanks Nannie!) and his change of clothes was a onesie with frogs on it.  We didn't even get a family picture all dressed up!  Oh well, there's always next year.

Today Mason and I are just hanging out!  I am getting some much needed cleaning done and am going to try and nap as much as possible.  I don't even think I will get a shower in.  Oh maybe I should since someone from the church is bringing us dinner tonight.  I will really look like white trash opening the door of my house with all dead bushes in the front smelling like spit up in my PJ's.  Then again, no judgement right?  We'll see what I have time for ;)

Nursing is still challenging and I hope the next two weeks things will get easier.  I still have an oversupply issue which means I leak pretty bad while nursing.  I still have to nurse with bath towels on my lap to catch the fountain that pours every time Mason unlatches for a quick second or I have to burp him.  I do think he his getting used to the heavy flow though.  He is choking less but he still does spit up a lot. I have made all the modifications to help with oversupply (leaning back, nursing more frequently during the day and hand expressing before nursing).    I'm thinking it will just take my body a little longer to figure things out. 

Pumping is AMAZING!  I pump once a day, 3-4 ounces.  This will give us the opportunity to go out at night or on the weekends and not have to worry about nursing and all the leaking in public.  This also gives daddy the chance to do a late night feeding so mommy can get even more sleep in!  I am so excited to start having a milk supply built up.  It makes me much less anxious about going out and night time feedings.

Well it's about that time for Mason to hit up the Dairy Farm again.  I'll be back soon with updates from the week!